I remember that a number of times when people see others who are successful or are beginning to succeed, one of the first questions would be ‘who are your mentors or who are your role models?’ What this means is that everyone who is succeeding or has begun to succeed is looking up to someone else and learning some of life’s useful lessons from such people. My focus I this case is not about who you are looking up to or who your mentors are? The real question I have for you is ‘who are the people looking up to or is anyone even considering you as a mentor or a role model?
Many of us have mentors but are not living the kind of life that a true mentor or role model ought to be living so either by living a funny lifestyle consciously or unconsciously, we are providing mentoring for some people. What kind of mentoring are you providing for other people who are taking a clue from the way you live your life? What kind of mentoring are you providing by smoking, drinking, lying, cheating, womanizing and spending lavishly on mundane things in front of young people?
You must realize that we all learn how to live life by just living life. What it also means is that we decide what life looks like and the way it must be lived by just looking at the people around us and concluding that what they are doing must be the acceptable thing! Some people don’t even go into the morality or the ethics of the attributes they are picking from others but they just pick up the attitude by watching others and make that their life! Someone is watching you regardless of your consciousness of it and also thinks that everything you do is just the right thing to do in life! Ask yourself again, what kind of mentoring am I proffering to others? People may not be coming directly to us but they are watching from a distance and we still need to ask what kind of role models we are?
I must also talk about those who receive some mentoring and do not give back! When we begin the journey to success we all talk about the need to have mentors and role models so that we will not miss some vital lessons in life or so that our journeys can be easier. Sometimes we say that we can learn in so short a time what it took our mentors and role models several decades to learn and all of these things are true! It’s just that there is a part of succeeding and mentoring that gets to me all the time and that part is about people receiving mentoring and are not working on mentoring other people.
If others have taken their time and resources to pour out into your life so that it can be a meaningful one, you have to start a conscious effort to pour out into the lives of other people as well. It’s not how much mentoring we are receiving that will count at the end of the day! It’s the result we get through the mentoring and how much mentoring we in turn do for others that will count!
You need to do a proper scanning of yourself and ask, ‘what are those things that I do that my secret or distant protégées are picking up even when they don’t know why I am doing them?’ Don’t get trapped for misleading others! Lead right, because you are leading knowingly or unknowingly!
Fola Daniel Adelesi
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