People usually anticipate that when they become successful they are going to be loved by everyone around and then they become the talk of the town but they don’t sometimes realize that the reason they could be the talk of the town is that some of the people who don’t like them are beginning to spread rumours about them! When you are not successful you barely have friends! When you start succeeding you start having friends but you also get to a level of success that even your own friends may envy you.
Now if we are going to be real I think I can also say that you may have had some friends who seem to be succeeding faster than you can imagine and everything seems to be working for them and not working in any way for you. You may have been to school together and you have both shared the very big dreams in your hearts! You have played together in some of the unimaginable places and you both expected to arrive at your destinations in life together but somewhere along the line life takes a different turn for both of you and you may seem to be stagnant while the other person seems to be on a high speed on the success lane!
While I can, to an extent, understand that anyone would easily become bitter especially when you think that the other person is not in any way better than you or that you attended the same school and you were the one getting all the good grades in school but outside of school he seems to be getting all the good grades in life! Well I think that’s the first place you will learn of one your most valuable lessons about life regarding the fact that success in school and success in life are two different things entirely!
If you find that anyone around you is succeeding while you seem to be stagnating you will be doing yourself a great favour by not trying to water down their success or claiming that everyone who succeeded in life cheated in order to be able to do so! When you take a good look at the kind of country I came from, so many people believe that the only way to get a good job is to have known a top official in an organisation! While it may be true that knowing people does help you get into places, it is also very true that some people don’t know anyone yet they are really succeeding!
If we are going to benefit from the success of others we need to put aside all emotions and stop explaining why it is easy for that other person to succeed while we are still where we are. Some of the things you can do include:
1. Try to make friends with anyone who seems to be succeeding in that field where you want to succeed.
2. Be humble enough to learn from that person by observation or by asking questions
3. Keep your mind clear on looking for principles or strategies that will help you succeed rather than looking for the shortcomings of that person then saying, ‘I knew it! I knew he could not just succeed like that!’
4. If it will be necessary to ask for help please do. Sometimes you may find that your friend or any other person is succeeding well in business and you can ask that person, after learning from the person for a while through observation and question, to help you get started in life.
5. One basic rule of succeeding in life is that you must always remain very loyal and committed to anyone who is going to help you succeed legitimately! You don’t go about sharing their secrets because you now know their secrets.
6. Never try to outsmart the person who is willing to show you the way to success. Some people think they are so smart and they always want to prove that so they even try to outsmart the people that are trying to help them succeed! When you do that you will realize very soon that you still have one or two things to learn and no one will be willing to teach you after trying to outsmart them!
You can always succeed by just benefiting from the success of others but you must be humble enough not to explain away their success or go around talking about how their parents gave them money or how their uncles and aunts helped them get connected! That’s really none of your business! Your business is that you really want to succeed! You want the success so bad that all you ever want to get from that person is the secret to the success regardless of what any other person thinks!
Stop fighting the people who are succeeding simply because you don’t understand their success! Start leaning from them!
Fola Daniel Adelesi
Speaker | Author | Consultant
+234 803 416 3006
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If you lose any of your abilities, do not lose the ability to believe in yourself again – Fola Daniel Adelesi