Why new year resolutions fail! │© Fola Daniel Adelesi

Towards the end of each year or at the beginning of a new year, so many people pick up their pens and papers to write resolutions for a new year and they really hope to have a better year because of the resolutions they have on paper! The real point is that you can have a resolution written on paper but it’s just a product of your wish or your thoughts and resolutions don’t have any binding force on you if they are just products of your thoughts or wishes!

Let’s be a little serious and ask how many resolutions we have written in the past years that we never changed in our activities! How many times have you said you were going to read more than you used to or work harder but you really didn’t do much compared to what you used to do? Can you remember how you talked about quitting bad habits but you still have those bad habits you said you were going to quit? You earn a lot of money but you really do not have anything to show for it and that has gone on for years! Why is that happening to you and those who earn far less than you do have more results to show! I think one of the key issues is that you have been making resolutions but they are just paper resolutions and that needs to change now!

Why do people promise to change but they end up becoming worse instead of changing for good? Why is it hard for people to just do the good things that they really intend to do? How come nice things or nice ideas don’t just happen? I have had all these questions on my mind just as much as you do and recently while processing my thoughts, something struck me! I have known this for years but it just did not seem to resonate and that’s another key issue! Too many of us know what can work for us or get us more results but those things do not resonate in our minds! Humans don’t easily respond to some of the things that are already proven to yield desired results! Some of those things still need to be reinforced to us before we then begin to apply some of the known principles for the things we intend to achieve!

I know some people are tired of making resolutions that will not see the end of January or even the first quarter of a new year! Some others have also set goals but it looks as if it’s a mirage to set goals so what is the way out?

We all must reckon with the fact that desires alone will not change things! A scenario was given about two young men who were asked what they wanted to become on life. The first one said he wanted to be a doctor. When asked why he simply said he would like to be a doctor. The other was asked why he wanted to be a doctor and he said, ‘I want to be a doctor so I can find the cure for my dad’s disease. I hate people being sick.’ When you think about the two young men than you will most likely say that it’s the other one that will truly become a doctor! Why, he has a clear purpose and an inner strength that hates the sickness of the father! Those two things are enough to keep pushing him until he becomes a doctor!

As for your resolutions, what are the key things that will push you to achieve your resolutions? A young man may desire to raise money to rent a house but that’s different from a man who is about to be evicted from where he lives! The determination or even desperation will be different! Goals can be achieved when we have things that are really pushing us! People meet deadlines in their offices when they know that the deadlines can take their jobs from them if the deadlines are not met! We sometimes do not achieve because there is no penalty for failing at some things we should never fail at! Some of our resolutions do not sail through because they have nothing to do with a boss in the office threatening not to pay salaries or even fire us for not achieving. I also think we fail with some of our resolutions because no doctor has said that if we do not follow through we will die in another 3 weeks! A lot of human beings pretend not to like pressure but when a distress sign is attached to what we have to do we seem to perform better!

In a nutshell, I am saying that when you do not have a clear purpose for your life which determines your direction, setting goals or making resolutions is a waste of time. When you also do not have strong reasons to follow through with those resolutions, you will never do! It’s easier for someone who has diabetes to think about reducing sugar intake and following through compared to someone who is only being warned about diabetes! To achieve goals or to follow through with our resolutions at the end of a year or beginning of a new year, we need to find the attachment of a sense of urgency. We can’t just talk about what must be done. We have to talk about why it has to be done and constantly remind ourselves of what we stand to lose if we don’t do it. We must think about what can go wrong or what we will suffer later for not doing it now!

I believe resolutions and goals are necessary to move us forward but we must find the urgency link to tell us what will go wrong or what we lose if we don’t improve on habits or skills! Set goals, create resolutions but have a clear purpose and pursue like you are going to die if you don’t do these things!

Fola Daniel Adelesi
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