The thought of marriage scares a lot of people and at some point I was trying to wrap my head around that because I could really understand why some get so scared about marriage! I have met a number of young people who live in an apartment the can easily pay for because they have good jobs and are doing well financially. Socially, they also very responsible people but at one point or the other they get close to getting married and something just happens and it’s all over! I think I will be glad if you can help me answer the question about ‘why some young people are scared of getting married!’
I know that some other people will say getting married has nothing to do with being wealthy or having some basic resources in your house. Some think it’s just about being mentally and emotionally mature to handle the challenges of marriage! If you really think that you want to be mentally and emotionally challenged to handle the challenges of marriage then I have another question for you! Do you think that you can build the emotional maturity required for marriage outside of that marriage? I think people need to stop deceiving themselves! It is true that you can learn from a lot of people in matters concerning their challenges and how they handle them but whatever it is you are learning through information from others will not be enough to run your own marriage! You have to get into it and learn on the go! Some telecommunications service providers will say ‘pay as you go’ and you also need to know that there are a few things in marriage that really apply to the pay as you go rule!
Some say they are still looking for Mr. Right or Mrs. Right even though they have been in series of relationships with other people! Sometimes I also wonder why they think the right person has not come! In fact, I really think that some people have narrowly allowed their Mr. or Mrs. Right to slip away! While waiting for Mr or Mrs. Right I guess you need to remember that you have an attitude problem and until you fix the attitude problem, Mr. or Mrs. Right will come and also go away! We cannot be the wrong person and expect the right person to be around us. It is not always the case that Mr. or Mrs. right is not forth coming but in some cases we have the right person watching from a distance and we have chased the person away just because of the wrong attitude that we walk around with!
There are those who want to make millions before getting married or they want to have worked for some years, gather some home appliances, be able to rent an apartment in some expensive parts of the country and then get married! Well I hope you don’t get to menopause before that happens! Some others have simply not gotten married because they will be required to pay a high bride price or they have an intimidating wedding budget! Must you have a huge wedding budget? I know about people who fixed their weddings on week days so that too many people would not be able to show up and that way they save some money! I also know about those who do their wedding strictly on invitations and they cater for just a few people. There are also those who just go to the court to do their weddings and that way they will not have any crowd and will be paying so little to get things done!
Can you set all the excuses aside this year? Will you take a bold step of faith? Why not plan within your resources and move on with your life? Will you finally get married this year? Remember, you are not getting younger!
Fola Daniel Adelesi
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