We now live in a world where we have heard so much about being independent and we have begun to interpret independence as being able to do things on our own without asking for help. Whoever told you that independence is being able to get things done on your own without help from anyone is deceiving you! There is no way you can go through this life successfully without help from other people. As a matter of fact, from the day you were born you started getting help from the doctor who delivered you, to the nurses who cleaned you up and then to your mother who started breast feeding. You could not walk so you were carried. You could not talk so that people around you had to use their initiatives to determine what was wrong with you. You should never think that you are no longer a baby and so you have outgrown the help that other people are offering you.
There are some situations where people don’t even have to offer to help you before you go ahead to ask for help. You must understand that it also translates to arrogance when you decide that you are never going to ask for help from anyone at any time. If you try to go that way you will realize that you will be very frustrated. By the time frustration sets in then you will be humble enough to ask for help from nearly anyone who cares to listen.
There is no harm in asking for help if you need help and when you need it. I understand the fact that some people have abused the fact that they can always ask for help from people. They will go from house to house begging for everything and anything even when they have both hands and can work with their hands to earn a decent wage. They think the easier way out is to beg so all they ever do is beg. That may appear as a good reason for other people who are hard working to refrain from asking for help. You cannot say you will not ask for help because there are too many beggars out there. And in this case when you are asking for help it does not always have to be about money. If people know you are hard working they will be willing to help you with nearly anything you want to do. In some cases they will even want to help you beyond what you need.
Even though some people have abused their opportunity to ask for help, we must still settle the fact that there is no crime in asking for help. How can you grow very well in life without getting help from other people? How can you succeed in your academics and career without help from any other person? How can you grow a business either from scratch or from any other level without getting help from those who already know about it? You will always need help not because you are not independent but because that’s just the way the world was created. Nobody has it all and we have to learn to live together by offering each other what we have.
As you go about your daily activities and you need help, please ask. It is a sign of humility and it also, in some cases, mean that you know what you are doing. Be humble enough to ask for help, be grateful enough after the help, keep the doors open because you will need another help soon.
Fola Daniel Adelesi
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