Remember the promises | © Fola Daniel Adelesi

There’s a point you get to in your relationship and it looks like everything is just not working according to your plan. You both had a great idea of being together and being there for each other all the way through. It is one thing to be together and it is another to be there for each other all the time. Now it seems there is constant friction and you are beginning to think about some funny things. Well, I was not there when you started but can I remind you of the promises you made to each other when you started?
Do you remember saying to each other that it was going to be for better for worse? Do you recollect you said you were going to be there for each other and that nothing was going to come between you two? Have you forgotten how said you were going to wade through the storm of life together?
While I recognize that the promises may have been made in the really sweet times, the time to remember the promise is in the hard or tough times. A promise made and kept in the easy times is not really a promise. It costs nothing and there are no issues fighting against. It also requires no great commitment. If anyone makes me a promise that that will not cost him or her much I would not be too bothered about that!
The kind of promise you made to each other as intending couples was not the promise that will not cost you anything. It was not the kind of promise that you could just close your eyes and fulfil all of them. There will be a true test of your commitment to those promises. You can promise each other a vacation or a great honey moon and make it happen in a jiffy. But it’s a different thing altogether when you promise each other that nothing will come between you.
The time to remember that nothing will come between you is when you, maybe as the man of the house, are broke and the family needs to depend on the wife’s income. The time to remember this kind of promises is when all is not well as they used to be and the plans you have had don’t seem to be working out so well. It’s really easy to say you will always be there for each other but what about those times when one person is in a life and death situation?
I am not about to doubt the fact that you can keep those promises you made to each other. What I am concerned about is the fact that many are quick to forget those promises in hard times. They make the promises in the good times, show another character in the bad times and probably expect to come back when things are fine.
There are times when you may be angry. There are times when you may be hurting. There are times when you even think you made a mistake by getting into this relationship in the first place. You secretly start thinking of other things that you can’t even say to your spouse. Maybe you are quick enough to caution yourself but what I want to get to is the fact that you made a promise to each other when you started out. Your trying times will be the true test of those commitments.
Instead of giving up on your spouse, remember the commitments you made to each other. Go back to the promises and review them. You can actually keep those promises even though it was not going to be easy. Let me also remind you that keeping the promises with ease adds no credit to you. Keeping the promises despite all odds is a true test of your character and it proves that you can be relied upon. It is not the hard times that determine if you or your spouse has made a mistake in deciding to be with each other but the result of the hard times. You have made the promises and you can keep them so go back to them in the hard times of your relationship.

Fola Daniel Adelesi
President/CEO,
Edible Pen.
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